This song is dedicated to all of the guys I’ve been hanging out with lately. The ones that think that if we spend too much time together, I’m gonna fall head-over-heels in love with them, so they have to blow me off every now and then, just to make sure I don’t get my hopes up. I was sitting in this guy’s apartment over the weekend, when he busted out with the I’m not really into relationships right now talk. What I wish I would have said was, “Stop. Look around at this place. Can this really be all mine? Do you really think that’s what I want? You don’t need a girlfriend, you need a mother and I’m not interested in cleaning up your life or taking care of you. So shut your piehole and let’s make-out.”

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?

-Andy Rooney

BONUS TRACK: I Killed The Neighbors

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